NEWS
10-01-12 New business partner and product
Conteched wishes you a bank solid 2012 with much profit!
As we at Conteched always strive for the very very best, we careful select the people we want to work with. We stumbled on "Imperative music agency" and together with them and also a couple other product manufacturers we produced the "Imperative Music Compilation CD Volume 5".
The release date is 16th of januari 2012. Check out the full artwork here
13-12-11 X-mas
Just before our Christmas recess (we aren't in as from today) CONTECHED had a meeting and like to give a short statement:
While the economy worldwide is going down, we at CONTECHED felled we have to skip our bonus this year and cut down on our spendings on our offices interiors.
As it turned out, all CEO's protested violently against the first, and we decided to give our office a new lick of paint.
09-10-11 Protest and Spotify
Here at CONTECHED we received a concerning letter from an unknown source. It states:
"Our dreams have been stolen from us.
Conteched has destroyed the world and its values through their greed.
Conteched has stolen this world."
As we honestly believe in little green man , we strongely protest against this statement.
We actually want more!
Also we like to mention that our product "War=Profit" is now also available through Spotify
22-07-11 CONTECHED & StageClix team up
As you all know CONTECHED always strives for the best.
Fortunally we stumbled upon this firm which does exactly the same, is also based in Amsterdam and delivers state of the art digital wireless audio.
A businessplan was made very quickly, and now we are proud to present that CONTECHED & StageClix decided to work together.
From now on, CONTECHED will do their takeovers with the help from StageClix digital wireless audio.
07-07-11 War=Profit continued
Our latest product "War=Profit" is now available through I Tunes. Want to loose some holiday money?
Now and here's your change!
28-04-11 War=Profit
We at CONTECHED are very proud to present our latest, new improved product entitled: War=Profit.
It's been the debut for our new executive in the lyrical department Mr. Branislav Plesa.
Check out our products page.
Within a couple of weeks it also can be bought through I-Tunes, we keep you posted
22-03-11 Sale!
From CONTECHED's Asian offices we got this incredible offer, we can't pass you by:
Sale!
1. Heroin , in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomahawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
Shall be send as “gift” to sew the customs.
Everyone is welcome, but not law enforcement officers .
ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prices upon request
PHONE 0093 (0) 20 2100451
FAX 0093 (0) 70 0105910
Afghanistan
02-03-11 employer accused of fraud
Devastating news as one of our employers has been accused of fraud .
We know Mr.Smith as one of the hardest working salesmen. Beside a good salesman (he produced a lot of email), he was a very social type as well, entertaining us with games as a small lottery in our head office.
Although the person who won this lottery still is waiting for his money, we at CONTECHED are almost sure that Mr Smith isn't a conman.
Fortunately all CONTECHED CEOs inherited a few million dollar, thanks to Mr.Smith. Its in a save Russian bank-account and will be released soon, he told us before he went on a 9 year sabbatical.
We wish him the best.
20-02-11 Become a VIP visitor of a CONTECHED takeover!
YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PURCHASING THE TAKEOVER ADMISSION TICKET FROM THE VENUE OR TICKET OUTLET ON YOUR OWN, IN ADVANCE.
Takeover VIP's will become available as Officially CONFIRMED and POSTED in takeover section of www.CONTECHED.com (festival & fair type takeovers are not available) and tickets have gone on sale for the takeover and will close when 20 PAID have been reached for that takeover.
If interested in purchasing and you have secured tickets for the takeover, please send an email with takeover CITY & DATE interested in subject line and number of VIP's you would like to purchase in the email to:
info[at]conteched[dot]com
and you will be sent a money request in the amount of 250 Euro's for each VIP requested (per person) through Western Union.
Mr.Phil Anselmo on the other hand, can get in for free!
Quotes:
Tjerk:
“I don’t know where to start to say that the VIP experience was horrendous. Having the opportunity to hang with the guys was dreadful. Getting to speak to the CEO's of CONTECHED was truely boring. The stockmarket advices really sucked. Thanks again, this was an experience I will not forget and hope to repeat soon. CONTECHED rocks!“
Karel:
“Thank you so much for the VIP experience at cafe Nol Amsterdam, it really was a terrible experience for both myself and my wife Truus and it was a real bummer to meet the CEO's! As usual, what a truly excellent takeover!!!!”
Phil:
"Although I did have a valid ticket, I got bounced at the entrance, thanks for a great two minutes"
01-01-11 Wiki-leaks a confidential document of CONTECHED
Not a very good start of 2011, as Wikileaks released a confidential document of CONTECHED's selection procedure, concerning our lyrics executive position. CONTECHED's laywer's like to state, that CONTECHED doesn't recognise itselve in that specific document. Further, CONTECHED likes to point out that it absolutely untrue that Mr Branislav Plesa offered CONTECHED a donation to hire him as lyric executive, and Mr Phil Anselmo did not. We like to state that in fact Mr Phil Anselmo offered us a donation also, but it is our policy that we can't accept any donations, which don't reach a certain amount.
13-12-10 conteched hires new ceo
After numerous job interviews, CONTECHED is pleased to announce that Mr Branislav Plesa, has filled the job opening in the lyrical department as lyrics executive. Although Mr Phil Anselmo also applied for this job, his application form arrived a few days too late, so we had to exclude him from the interviews. We wish him good luck with "Down" though.
30-09-10 ceo departs conteched
Mr Bronwasser, one of the ceo's of conteched, has decided to leave the firm. A new dressingcode seems to be the reason for this, while mr Bronwasser insisted on wearing bowties at meetings, another staff member dared to show up almost naked. This leaves a vacancy in the lyrical department. Job applications can be send to info[at]conteched[dot]com.
20-09-10 a joint venture with killing joke
CONTECHED has formed a joint venture together with Killing Joke, to prepare a hostile takeover of the Melkweg's MAX Amsterdam on the 29th of September. Further details can't be given, as the exit strategy still has to be determined .
09-05-10 Bizarre gardening accident
Sorry we didn't show up for work yesterday at De Dukdalf, Wieringerwerf yesterday. A member of our team was involved in a bizarre gardening accident. We'll make it up to you this Saturday when we'll be at Maloe Melo, Amsterdam.
14-04-10 Customers talkback: reviews
Reviews of our latest In Poor Company have been flooding in for the past couple of months. The best free propaganda we could wish for.
"Sold", Aardschok
"You'll definitely dig this", Industrialized Metal
"Ready for the international market", Zware Metalen
"Mathematical precision", Wings of Death
"Boring stuff", No one in particular
Don't forget to BUY, BUY and BUY the thing. Only 4 euro/dollar.
22-03-10 Conteched speaks. Listen!
Conteched is untouched by credit crunches or recession. Many secrets keep Conteched a thriving business. Maintaining a solid bassline is just one of these secrets.
Of course this makes you curious. Conteched understands. So tune into Zandvoort FM on Thursday, April 8th between 20.00 and 22.00 hours. Conteched will speak. You will hear our latest products. Nothing will be left unsaid. Nothing will remain unheard.
Station: Zandvoort FM. Program: Alternative FM. Also broadcasted online. We will not charge you for listening.
05-01-10 Special offer. Free tickets!
Conteched wants everyone to be able to experience pure excellence, so we give free entrance to our takeover on the 14th of January in Amsterdam. Contact our customer service to be added to the guestlist. See takeover section for details.
12-09-09 NEW CD!
After the extremely well received Criminal Industry (2008), Conteched releases the long awaited follow-up cd In Poor Company. Buy it!
30-08-09 A word from our sponsor
Many try to ride the wave of Conteched's tremendous succes. One of them is guitarbuilder Lindenton. They are responsible for the exclusive Neoland bass. Tailored and built following Mr. Degen's high standards. We like Lindenton and so should you.
10-01-12 New business partner and product
Conteched wishes you a bank solid 2012 with much profit!
As we at Conteched always strive for the very very best, we careful select the people we want to work with. We stumbled on "Imperative music agency" and together with them and also a couple other product manufacturers we produced the "Imperative Music Compilation CD Volume 5".
The release date is 16th of januari 2012. Check out the full artwork here
13-12-11 X-mas
Just before our Christmas recess (we aren't in as from today) CONTECHED had a meeting and like to give a short statement:
While the economy worldwide is going down, we at CONTECHED felled we have to skip our bonus this year and cut down on our spendings on our offices interiors.
As it turned out, all CEO's protested violently against the first, and we decided to give our office a new lick of paint.
09-10-11 Protest and Spotify
Here at CONTECHED we received a concerning letter from an unknown source. It states:
"Our dreams have been stolen from us.
Conteched has destroyed the world and its values through their greed.
Conteched has stolen this world."
As we honestly believe in little green man , we strongely protest against this statement.
We actually want more!
Also we like to mention that our product "War=Profit" is now also available through Spotify
22-07-11 CONTECHED & StageClix team up
As you all know CONTECHED always strives for the best.
Fortunally we stumbled upon this firm which does exactly the same, is also based in Amsterdam and delivers state of the art digital wireless audio.
A businessplan was made very quickly, and now we are proud to present that CONTECHED & StageClix decided to work together.
From now on, CONTECHED will do their takeovers with the help from StageClix digital wireless audio.
07-07-11 War=Profit continued
Our latest product "War=Profit" is now available through I Tunes. Want to loose some holiday money?
Now and here's your change!
28-04-11 War=Profit
We at CONTECHED are very proud to present our latest, new improved product entitled: War=Profit.
It's been the debut for our new executive in the lyrical department Mr. Branislav Plesa.
Check out our products page.
Within a couple of weeks it also can be bought through I-Tunes, we keep you posted
22-03-11 Sale!
From CONTECHED's Asian offices we got this incredible offer, we can't pass you by:
Sale!
1. Heroin , in liquid and crystal form.
2. Rocket fuel and Tomahawk rockets (serious enquiries only).
4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.
Shall be send as “gift” to sew the customs.
Everyone is welcome, but not law enforcement officers .
ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.
Prices upon request
PHONE 0093 (0) 20 2100451
FAX 0093 (0) 70 0105910
Afghanistan
02-03-11 employer accused of fraud
Devastating news as one of our employers has been accused of fraud .
We know Mr.Smith as one of the hardest working salesmen. Beside a good salesman (he produced a lot of email), he was a very social type as well, entertaining us with games as a small lottery in our head office.
Although the person who won this lottery still is waiting for his money, we at CONTECHED are almost sure that Mr Smith isn't a conman.
Fortunately all CONTECHED CEOs inherited a few million dollar, thanks to Mr.Smith. Its in a save Russian bank-account and will be released soon, he told us before he went on a 9 year sabbatical.
We wish him the best.
20-02-11 Become a VIP visitor of a CONTECHED takeover!
YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PURCHASING THE TAKEOVER ADMISSION TICKET FROM THE VENUE OR TICKET OUTLET ON YOUR OWN, IN ADVANCE.
Takeover VIP's will become available as Officially CONFIRMED and POSTED in takeover section of www.CONTECHED.com (festival & fair type takeovers are not available) and tickets have gone on sale for the takeover and will close when 20 PAID have been reached for that takeover.
If interested in purchasing and you have secured tickets for the takeover, please send an email with takeover CITY & DATE interested in subject line and number of VIP's you would like to purchase in the email to:
info[at]conteched[dot]com
and you will be sent a money request in the amount of 250 Euro's for each VIP requested (per person) through Western Union.
Mr.Phil Anselmo on the other hand, can get in for free!
Quotes:
Tjerk:
“I don’t know where to start to say that the VIP experience was horrendous. Having the opportunity to hang with the guys was dreadful. Getting to speak to the CEO's of CONTECHED was truely boring. The stockmarket advices really sucked. Thanks again, this was an experience I will not forget and hope to repeat soon. CONTECHED rocks!“
Karel:
“Thank you so much for the VIP experience at cafe Nol Amsterdam, it really was a terrible experience for both myself and my wife Truus and it was a real bummer to meet the CEO's! As usual, what a truly excellent takeover!!!!”
Phil:
"Although I did have a valid ticket, I got bounced at the entrance, thanks for a great two minutes"
01-01-11 Wiki-leaks a confidential document of CONTECHED
Not a very good start of 2011, as Wikileaks released a confidential document of CONTECHED's selection procedure, concerning our lyrics executive position. CONTECHED's laywer's like to state, that CONTECHED doesn't recognise itselve in that specific document. Further, CONTECHED likes to point out that it absolutely untrue that Mr Branislav Plesa offered CONTECHED a donation to hire him as lyric executive, and Mr Phil Anselmo did not. We like to state that in fact Mr Phil Anselmo offered us a donation also, but it is our policy that we can't accept any donations, which don't reach a certain amount.
13-12-10 conteched hires new ceo
After numerous job interviews, CONTECHED is pleased to announce that Mr Branislav Plesa, has filled the job opening in the lyrical department as lyrics executive. Although Mr Phil Anselmo also applied for this job, his application form arrived a few days too late, so we had to exclude him from the interviews. We wish him good luck with "Down" though.
30-09-10 ceo departs conteched
Mr Bronwasser, one of the ceo's of conteched, has decided to leave the firm. A new dressingcode seems to be the reason for this, while mr Bronwasser insisted on wearing bowties at meetings, another staff member dared to show up almost naked. This leaves a vacancy in the lyrical department. Job applications can be send to info[at]conteched[dot]com.
20-09-10 a joint venture with killing joke
CONTECHED has formed a joint venture together with Killing Joke, to prepare a hostile takeover of the Melkweg's MAX Amsterdam on the 29th of September. Further details can't be given, as the exit strategy still has to be determined .
09-05-10 Bizarre gardening accident
Sorry we didn't show up for work yesterday at De Dukdalf, Wieringerwerf yesterday. A member of our team was involved in a bizarre gardening accident. We'll make it up to you this Saturday when we'll be at Maloe Melo, Amsterdam.
14-04-10 Customers talkback: reviews
Reviews of our latest In Poor Company have been flooding in for the past couple of months. The best free propaganda we could wish for.
"Sold", Aardschok
"You'll definitely dig this", Industrialized Metal
"Ready for the international market", Zware Metalen
"Mathematical precision", Wings of Death
"Boring stuff", No one in particular
Don't forget to BUY, BUY and BUY the thing. Only 4 euro/dollar.
22-03-10 Conteched speaks. Listen!
Conteched is untouched by credit crunches or recession. Many secrets keep Conteched a thriving business. Maintaining a solid bassline is just one of these secrets.
Of course this makes you curious. Conteched understands. So tune into Zandvoort FM on Thursday, April 8th between 20.00 and 22.00 hours. Conteched will speak. You will hear our latest products. Nothing will be left unsaid. Nothing will remain unheard.
Station: Zandvoort FM. Program: Alternative FM. Also broadcasted online. We will not charge you for listening.
05-01-10 Special offer. Free tickets!
Conteched wants everyone to be able to experience pure excellence, so we give free entrance to our takeover on the 14th of January in Amsterdam. Contact our customer service to be added to the guestlist. See takeover section for details.
12-09-09 NEW CD!
After the extremely well received Criminal Industry (2008), Conteched releases the long awaited follow-up cd In Poor Company. Buy it!
30-08-09 A word from our sponsor
Many try to ride the wave of Conteched's tremendous succes. One of them is guitarbuilder Lindenton. They are responsible for the exclusive Neoland bass. Tailored and built following Mr. Degen's high standards. We like Lindenton and so should you.